I am a planner by nature. I am constantly thinking about what is coming and sometimes forget to live in the moment. The last weeks of school is when my planning goes into full force. I feel there is so much to do, and there is a definite deadline to complete all the tasks. This school year will not go on for ever. During this long weekend I brought plenty of work home to complete. I planned when, what order, and even where I was going to complete these tasks. It makes me feel like I have control over everything on my to-do list.
On Sunday morning, the sun was perfecting streaming in through the trees. My backyard looked like a paradise. The grass was green and lush. Flowers were blooming in hues of pink and purple. The brilliant blue sky felt like an old friend I had not seen in awhile. The best part was the air that blew past me was warm with the sweet scents of summer. This day in May was like a preview to what is come, and I couldn’t wait. I made the decision to put away all my school work and do it all on Monday. My thought was we had an extra day for reason, and I always pad my schedule. I would just double up the next day and seize the day today.
Choosing to break away from my planning at first felt freeing. I was going to enjoy the sunshine and spend time in my yard, sit in my sun room, swing on the swings with my daughter, and sit and actually not try not to plan anything. However, I had a plan for seizing the day. Then something happened half way through the day, I did not know what to do with myself. I became antsy. I realized it was because I was not filling every moment of my day with something to do. It was an uncomfortable feeling for me. I was completely out of my comfort zone.
My thoughts raced with things I could be doing. I let the moment pass and looked up at the welcoming blue sky, and felt reassured that choosing procrastination today was a good choice. I just hoped I would not be annoyed at myself on Monday, but what did it matter? That was a worry for another day.