What I Forgot to Miss

This morning I received an email from Twitter reminding me that I have not taken the time to login for awhile. Since it has been my first few days of summer I have been neglecting social media. Curiosity did get the best of me and I opened the email. I saw that @TeachWrite EDU the Word of the Day is ‘miss.’ A flash of memories ran through my mind on all the little things I forgot I missed about summer break.

Last Sunday seems like decades ago. I sat for hours going over the speech I was going to give my fifth graders at their Moving Up ceremony. I would give this speech in front of them, their families, and some of my colleagues. I dislike speaking to large crowds, to me that is 25 people and above, so as each hour went by the butterflies in my stomach became more frantic. I wanted to deliver my speech to my students and make them proud. I wanted to convey to them how proud I was of them, all without crying uncontrollably so they could understand the words I was saying. I went to bed, as I do every Sunday night, with a mental list of to-dos wondering if I could get it all done in the short time frame that I had. A side effect of this is I do a lot of tossing and turning instead of sleeping.

This Sunday I forgot that I missed a Sunday with no school to-dos. I was completely relaxed as we had family over for dinner. I have to admit at first it was uncomfortable not having a ton of things on my mind. I had to remind myself that I could take a breath and just take in the moment. I forgot that I missed listening to my loved ones without worrying about what time it was. I listened and watched as my daughter talked about finding a ladybug so she could pet it. I forgot that I missed cooking a meal without any shortcuts. Savoring the process and watching the enjoyment of my family eating it. I forgot how I missed watching the sunlight find its way to the forest floor, watching it dance as the wind blew through the leaves above.

I also forget how hard it is missing my students. Remembering that they won’t be in my classroom when I return in August and moving on to middle school saddens me. I will miss their stories, their energy, and the community we created together. I have trust in the middle school teachers they will get to know. My students will learn more and continue to grow, and I am going to miss seeing it. This is the cycle for a classroom teacher. Sometimes I wonder why I keep doing it. Every year, getting your heart broken a little bit. But, I wouldn’t have any other way. Just think of all the things I would miss.